The Letter

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Use Audio <h1>The Letter</h1> <img src="https://images.jpost.com/image/upload/f_auto,fl_lossy/t_Article2016_ControlFaceDetect/393296"> <<button "Enter Name">><<script>> setup.done = function () { $("#name").empty().wiki("Hey $name. Ready to [[Start]]?"); } Dialog.setup("Please enter your name:"); Dialog.wiki('<<textbox "$name" "Willy Wonka" autofocus>> <<button "Done">><<run setup.done()>><<run Dialog.close()>><</button>>'); Dialog.open({top: "calc(50vh - 51px)"}, setup.done); <</script>><</button>> <style> body { display: flex; align-items:center; justify-content: center; } .passage { text-align: center; } img { height: 300px; width: 400px; } </style>

Your alarm sounds. Saturday morning. You listen to <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">el gorjeothe chirping</a> of the birds outside your window. How annoying. You decide to... [[Get out of bed]] [[Stay in bed]] <<audio alarm play>>

You open the letter. It is from your <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">el vecinoneighbour</a>. "Hey $name!I have been <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">infectado infected</a> with the Coronavirus and because I am old (almost 40), live alone and do not have super-fibre optic 5G internet, I have been unable to buy <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">los alimentos groceries</a>. Would it be possible for you to use your credit card to order some chinese <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">la comida para llevar takeaway</a> for me? Sweet and Sour chicken, <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">fideos fritos fried noodles</a> and a portion of chicken balls, please." [[Rip up the letter]] [[Go to their house and shit on their doorstep]] [[Open the second letter]]

Taking the second letter, you carefully slide a finger under the <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">sello de cera wax seal</a> and open the envelope. Inside is a small key with a <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">una tarjeta postalpostcard</a>. The postcard image is that of an orange man. <img src="https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fteamjimmyjoe.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F05%2Fdonald-trump-funny-face-collages-phillip-kremer-creepy.jpg&f=1&nofb=1" height="250px"> You turn the postcard around and read it. New Terrace Cosmetics. 82 Dawson Place. Come alone. [[Pull out your phone and search for the address]] [[Your stomach is rumbling. Coffee first]]

You walk to <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">el pasillo the hallway</a> and notice that <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">el cartero/a the postman</a> has already arrived. Two letters are on the ground beside the door. The first one has big writing on the front and says, 'Help Me', and the other is sealed with a wax <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">emblemaemblem</a> You... [[Open the letter that says 'Help Me']] [[Open the second letter]] <<audio yawn play>>

<<cacheaudio "snore" "http://aidanreid.com/twine/snore.wav">> <<cacheaudio "alarm" "http://aidanreid.com/twine/alarm.wav">> <<cacheaudio "yawn" "http://aidanreid.com/twine/yawn.wav">> <<cacheaudio "fart" "http://aidanreid.com/twine/fart.wav">> <<cacheaudio "notification" "http://aidanreid.com/twine/notification.wav">> <<cacheaudio "boil" "http://aidanreid.com/twine/boil.wav">> <<cacheaudio "magic" "http://aidanreid.com/twine/magic.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "gag" "http://aidanreid.com/twine/gag.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "eat" "http://aidanreid.com/twine/Eat.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "giggle" "http://aidanreid.com/twine/giggle.mp3">>

After ripping the letter, you take five deep breaths to calm down. [[Open the second letter]]

<<audio fart play>> You drop your trousers and <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">apretar squeeze</a> one out. The hot <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">hojuelas de chile chilli flakes</a> on the pizza you ate last night seemed to have been a good idea, as the <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">brisa fresca cool breeze</a> licks your cheeks as you <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">golpear punch out</a> a hot <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">cagada turd</a>. Pleased with your efforts, you decide to go back inside the house. [[Open the second letter]]

The sun is <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">filtrarse filtering</a> in through the window. It's getting brighter and you <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">lanzar y girartoss and turn</a> to find a comfortable spot. After a few minutes of this you finally decide to... [[Get out of bed]] [[Go To Sleep]]

<h2>Sweet Dreams $name!</h2> <img src="https://image.shutterstock.com/image-photo/pomeranian-dog-sleep-funny-mask-260nw-593426120.jpg" style="height: 300px; width: 500px"> <<audio snore play>>

You fill <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">la tetera the kettle</a> with water and set it to boil. You grab a clean cup and take the coffee jar from the cupboard. Kettle boiled. You add... [[1 teaspoon]] of coffee [[2 teaspoons]] of coffee [[the boiling water to the half-full coffee jar]] <<audio boil play>>

<a data-passage="" class="tooltip">Eso dio en el blanco. "That hit the spot!"</a> You sit down, take out the postcard and study the back of it. The words appear to be <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">escrito a mano handwritten</a> in thin red <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">el pintalabios lipstick</a>. [[Take a sip of coffee and turn on the TV]] [[Pull out your phone and search for the address]]

You take a sip and aren't surprised to learn that your coffee tastes like <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">el lodo mud</a>. You wipe your dirty mouth, sit down, take out the postcard and study the back of it. The words appear to be <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">escrito a mano handwritten</a> in thin red <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">el pintalabios lipstick</a>. - [[Take a sip of coffee and turn on the TV]] - [[Pull out your phone and search for the address]]

You tip the jar back and swallow a <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">un bocadomouthful</a> of coffee granules. Crunching them makes your back teeth hurt. "What was I thinking?" You slap your face with an <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">palma abierta open palm</a> to wake yourself up. It seems to have done <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">el trucothe trick</a> because you feel much better already. You wipe your dirty mouth, sit down, take out the postcard and study the back of it. The words appear to be <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">escrito a mano handwritten</a> in thin red <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">el pintalabios lipstick</a>. [[Take a sip of coffee and turn on the TV]] [[Pull out your phone and search for the address]]

You just remembered. You sold the TV for a bag of <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">frijoles mágicos magic beans</a>. They've brought you nothing but trouble so far. <img src="https://dl52d2tabxpgo.cloudfront.net/001/524/731/m.jpg" style="height: 250px;"> [[Pull out your phone and search for the address]] <<audio magic play>>

You receive a notification from a dating app you thought you had deleted. "Hey $name. Love your name. Is it Spanish? I like your profile. I also like romantic walks on the beach. Would you like to join me and my mother this weekend?" A quick look at HairyHarry73's profile reminds you to <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">desinstalar uninstall</a> it later. <img src="https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.baklol.com%2F12_jpegfeb701768b1ab670ed29459e782da7ef.jpeg&f=1&nofb=1" height="250px"> [[Reply to the message and complement him on his physique]] [[Check the weather forecast]] [[Insert the address into Maps]] <<audio notification play>>

He instantly replies to your message. "We live in a <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">bloque de pisos tower block</a> - top floor. <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">Los ascensores Lifts</a> don't work. I have to carry my Ma up 15 flights of stairs every day. Not easy. '<a data-passage="" class="tooltip">Obesidad mórbida Morbidly obese</a>' the Doc says. Think that might be why I have a curved spine. She calls me her <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">pequeño erizo little hedgehog</a> ;)" <img src ="https://assets.cureus.com/uploads/figure/file/28207/lightbox_3c1f06c0faf411e7b11299bbf5cdd575-IMG_1478.JPG.png" style="height: 250px; width: 200px;"> You're no medical expert, but the X-Ray image of the <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">el jorobadohunchback</a> doesn't inspire confidence. [[Throw phone away in disgust]] [[Check the weather forecast]]

The weather app on your phone appears to be offline. You look outside. A <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">mástil telefónico telephone mast</a> has fallen across your garden. <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">las moscas Sparks</a> fly from the <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">cables sueltos loose wires</a>. "Great." [[Check if your Map app is working->Insert the address into Maps]]

You enter the address into Google Maps. You needn't have bothered. The location is just around the corner from where you live. <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">Intercalado Sandwiched</a> between the <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">Salón de bronceado tanning salon</a>, 'Chernobyls' and the <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">club de stripteasestrip joint</a>, 'Thrust'. "Christ, how much did I drink last night?" Your head pounds out a response, 'A lot'. You look at the small key. There is writing on it. "'Eat me'" [[What the hell. You pop it in your mouth]] [[Clean the key]] [[Take a breath. Regroup. You're not feeling yourself today]]

Hedgehog or not. There is nothing on God's green Earth that would make you meet this man. [[Check the weather forecast]] <<audio gag play>>

The metallic taste isn't particularly pleasant. You <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">echarlo toss it</a> around in your mouth for a while, <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">cautelosamentegingerly</a> biting down on the key. Yes. It's a metal key, alright. It tastes like the sambuca you had last night. The fifth one. Just before you <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">vomitó puked</a> over yourself. You spit it out. [[Clean the key]] <<audio eat play>>

You wipe the key on the front of your shirt and look at it again. "'Eat Men'? That's even more <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">oscuro obscure</a>." You take a deep breath, grateful that it's a Saturday. You decide the clear air will do your head good, so you pocket the key and leave the house. <img src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQsA-k9At23Z_IVRsgWr4jc6IKG0FdiA55Mvw&usqp=CAU" style="height: 200px"> A religious nut, carrying a bunch of flyers is arriving just as you leave. "Hi, have you heard the good news?" [[You brought pizza?]] [[No. The phrase 'Eat Men' mean anything to you?]] [[I no longer have to self-isolate after catching Covid?]]

You take five slow, controlled breaths through your nose. There is a sharp whistling from one of your nostrils which is off-putting. It distracts you and the sense of peace and calm you seek is once again nowhere to be found. You stare down at the key. [[What the hell. You pop it in your mouth]] [[Clean the key]]

He looks at you for a moment, then breaks into a smile. "Better than pizza." "More booze?" "Better than booze!" he announces. "I bring tidings of joy. He has risen from the dead." "Elvis is back?" The holy messenger stands, <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">boca abierta mouth agape</a>. "No," he says, shaking his head. "I speak of the One." "Enough talking Morpheus." You walk past the man, leaving him confused and head in the direction of the address, passing the newsagent on the way. In the shop front window is the the newspaper stand. Front-page headlines for today read, 55 deaths, 743 cases. New Eskimo Variant Detected. You pass a <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">vagabundohomeless man</a>, rummaging through a bin. He turns to you. <img src="https://ak.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/17910103/thumb/11.jpg?ip=x480" height="200px;"> "Spare some change?" You keep walking. He holds out a funny looking cigarette, and smiles. I'll give you a toke of this if you do? [[What is it?]] [[What's wrong with it?]] [[I don't do drugs]] [[Hit me]]

He looks at you funny. "His body made flesh. You speak of our Redeemer?" "Unlikely." You barge past. "Blessed day!" he calls out to you. You walk in the direction of the address, passing the newsagent on the way. In the shop front window is the the newspaper stand. Front-page headlines for today read '55 deaths, 743 cases. New Eskimo Variant Detected.' You pass a <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">vagabundohomeless man</a>, rummaging through a bin. He turns to you. <img src="https://ak.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/17910103/thumb/11.jpg?ip=x480" height="200px;"> "Spare some change?" You keep walking. He holds out a funny looking cigarette, and smiles. "I'll give you a toke of this if you do?" [[What is it?]] [[What's wrong with it?]] [[I don't do drugs]] [[Hit me]]

He backs off and gives you a wide berth. You step forward, eyes wild - enjoying his apparent unease. "May the power of Christ compel you!" You lurch ahead, doing your best zombie impression. He turns and runs. That was fun. You walk in the direction of the address, passing the newsagent on the way. In the shop front window is the the newspaper stand. Front-page headlines for today reads, '55 deaths, 743 cases. New Eskimo Variant Detected.' You pass a <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">vagabundohomeless man</a>, rummaging through a bin. He turns to you. <img src="https://ak.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/17910103/thumb/11.jpg?ip=x480" height="200px;"> "Spare some change?" You keep walking. He holds out a funny looking cigarette, and smiles. "I'll give you a toke of this if you do?" [[What is it?]] [[What's wrong with it?]] [[I don't do drugs]] [[Hit me]]

The mailbox door falls open. Inside is a mobile phone. An old Nokia model with an aerial. "I got out of bed for this?" You move to close the door when the phone suddenly begins ringing. [[Answer it]] [[Let it ring]]

Heavy breathing on the other end. "Who is this? What kind of sick joke-" "$name? I need your help. My life depends on it....they're-" "How do you-" "Please! Just listen to me. I may not have long. See that officer headed your way." You look up as the policeman arrives. "What's all this then?" the policeman asks, eyeing you with suspicion. "Listen very carefully," the voice on the other end of the phone says. "Tell him that you love men in spandex." "I..." "Tell him! It's the only way!" The policeman reaches a hand to his radio device clipped to his shirt lapel. "Cat got your tongue?" [[I love men in spandex]] [[Can't you see I'm on the phone?]] [[Turn your back and ignore him]]

The ringing is slowly starting to grate on your nerves. A police officer on the other side of the street seems to take an interest. He crosses the road and approaches. You feel guilty and aren't sure why. Opening a stranger's postbox might be one such reason. You quickly pick up the phone, turn your back to the officer and hope he goes away. [[Answer it]]

"What does it look like?" "Looks like weed to me." He lights the end of the dirty joint, takes a drag and then blows out a ring of smoke. He passes it to you. [[What's wrong with it?]] [[I don't do drugs]] [[Take a drag->Hit me]]

"Start acting like a princess, and you can piss off!" [[I don't do drugs]] [[Hit me]]

"Boring git". You keep walking and reach the address. There is a tall green door, the colour of a frog. To one side is a postbox. You remember the key in your pocket. [[Insert the key]]

You take the blunt off him and have a long, cool drag. <img src="https://media4.giphy.com/media/3iCxOhajoKqjbcjTG8/giphy.gif" style="height: 300px;"> "SOME GOOD SHIT, BOY!" He smiles at your approval. You toss him the coins in your pocket and pass the joint back. You float to the address, smiling at those who pass you by. There is a tall green door, the colour of <a data-passage="" class="tooltip">una rana a frog</a>. To one side is a postbox. You remember the key in your pocket. [[Insert the key]] <<audio giggle play>>

"Didn't quite catch that. Say again?" You repeat the phrase. The policeman considers this for a moment, before dropping the hand from his radio mic. "Thought you looked familiar. In that case, I definitely wouldn't want to see you in the Grove Green around 8pm tonight. Beside the Golden Oaks. Nothing quite like being surrouned on all sides by...wood. Laters." You watch the officer walk away. "OK, that was close. Now listen up. Hope you're not scared of heights." End of Chapter 1

"Pardon me?" Static from the mic attached to his shirt. The officer leans into it. "Calling Dispatch. 4032 here. We may have a situation. Stand by. Over." "You need to tell him about the spandex!" the voice on the phone repeats. "Before it's too late!" [[I...love men in spandex->I love men in spandex]]

"You don't get to turn your back on me sunshine," the officer says, "Not if you know what's good for you." The voice on the other end of the phone pipes up. "You need to tell him about the spandex! Before it's too late!" [[I...strongly admire men in spandex->I love men in spandex]]